Day 24: 30-day #noFacebook challenge - Almost

I've pretty much decided to keep this restricted Facebook access habit. I like being in control of it instead of it being in control of me, is what it comes down to. There's no need for me to hover over the site waiting for notifications to pop up. I can get on with life just fine without them.

I'm wondering what my next 30-day challenge will be... I like the finite-ness of 30 days. It's not all that long, but long enough to make you feel like you've accomplished something when you get through it.

Leave suggestions for me? I'll give them due consideration and let you know in a few days what I decide to take on next!

Day 6: 30 day #noFacebook challenge - Being here now

I find that I complain a lot less now that I'm not on Facebook... Though snarky thoughts still come to mind, I don't have the instant gratification forum for them that social media provides. And it's actually making me more content, less quick to jump to criticism (of myself or others).

I didn't even notice that I didn't have Facebook today. In fact I almost forgot that I needed to post here today because I have been busy and happy doing so many other things on my list from yesterday.

I hope this is a continuing trend... this contentment. I do feel a bit of an echo, like I am out here all alone and all the action is taking place somewhere else... but I also feel like it's part of the process, and that soon I'll be fully present. Here and now.

Day 4: 30-day No Facebook challenge - Much Ado About Nothing

"Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny nonny "

Today's been better as far as the Facebook cravings go. I recorded a podcast episode with my good friend and colleague Merianna Harrelson (I'll link to it when it goes live) in which we discussed productivity and the need for focus... and how Facebook can be the enemy of focus. It's always vying for your attention. That's what all those little notifications are for... to draw your eyes back to it, instead of to what is most important.

Your phone buzzes, or a little red number catches your eye and suddenly you're not working on that project or writing that blog post or engaging with your friends and family anymore. You're looking at your phone, scrolling through the feed and being distracted by what everyone else is doing at that moment.

This thirty day challenge is my attempt to break free, to take back my consciousness, to be present. And I feel like I did better, felt better, focused better today. It's a relief, actually, to be able to walk away from the computer and not worry about what I'm missing. I'm sure I'm missing something... but I want to care more about here and now.

“I can see he's not in your good books,' said the messenger.
'No, and if he were I would burn my library.” 

Day 3: 30-day #noFacebook challenge - Withdrawal symptoms

It's day 3 of my official #noFacebook challenge. And today is a challenge. Today I woke up with the creeping feeling that because I'm not present and active on Facebook everyone is going to forget me. And it's a hard feeling to shake, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, the pinch and squeeze beneath my rib cage, the flutter of anxiety.

So the rest of this post is going to be a pep-talk to help me fight the painful feeling of withdrawal. Because it's a lie... and it's part of what I'm fighting against... the idea that Facebook is fulfilling any kind of need for connection with people. It doesn't actually foster community. It makes it easy not to have real connection with people.

Real connection is hard. It takes effort. Writing letters, making phone calls, actually meeting for coffee or dinner, it takes time and energy. It's why most people lose touch with all their high school buddies when they leave for college... because real life happens where you are, and the people who aren't there aren't part of it unless you take the time to make them part of it.

Facebook substitutes photos, links, and like buttons for real people... It seems easy to keep in touch with large amounts of people worldwide because you don't have to actually do anything to maintain "friendships". They just exist. And you can spend so much time obsessing over them, so much time scrolling through the news feed looking at what other people are saying and doing, that you can forget to be present, and neglect real life even as it's staring you in the face.

I'm going to have to sit with this feeling of withdrawal, because it's part of the process of healing from an addiction. And I'm going to have to trust the process, that the feeling will pass, that I can beat it and move on. And that the REAL people in my life will always be there.